Hi friends! We are SO SO SO excited to start this new blog series with you all. Our heart here at Twirl is to always inspire our brides to remember the bigger picture to help cultivate a community that really cheers one another on in making marriage matter and reminding each other that it is a beautiful commitment that is worth it, always. So we decided to interview different friends, vendors, and people in the industry that we know share this same heart and are always making their own marriages matter. Kicking us off is our very own Ty McBrayer! Her marriage to Brandon is one that encourages & inspires us on a daily basis. They are each other's best friend, amazing parents to their precious girls, and are an amazing support system to our Twirl family. They love each other so well and love others beautifully, both individually & together. So without further adieu, here's Ty with our first Marriage Matter post for this fun new series!
1. Tell us a little about yourself & your spouse. Give us a brief history of your all’s story and how long you’ve been together.
Brandon and I met while working together. Our desks were literally about 10 feet apart! Our department was young and liked to hang out together, so we were friends first, but it didn’t take long to figure out we had a little bit of a spark. At that point we had both gotten out of long-term relationships and were hesitant to take the next step. There was no denying the connection we had and I pretty much knew he was the one after just a few months. As cheesy as it sounds that was truly the case. Once you’ve had so many broken relationships you start losing hope that “the one” is out there, but there he was sitting 10 feet from me. The Lord had bigger plans for us than just the mediocre relationships that we had experienced in the past. We dated a little over a year and a half and then got engaged one month before I opened Twirl.
Brandon is a very calm, laid back soul…which helps offset my anxiety- ridden soul quite nicely. He’s always been my voice of reason and calms me down on the most stressful days. Somehow he can always put things in perspective in a way no one else has ever been able to do for me. We are complete opposites in many ways, but exactly the same in so many more.
2. What’s your favorite memory from your wedding?
We were married in an outdoor ceremony at The Carrick House in Lexington. My dad and I had a short little walk around the back of the ceremony to get to the aisle. As we walked we got to soak in all of the beauty of the day and see the whole wedding come together just as we had imagined it. Standing there with my dad, wearing my mom’s wedding gown, seeing my future husband waiting for me surrounded by my closest friends and family and hearing “Here Comes the Sun” on acoustic guitar…it makes me want to do it all over again right now!
3. What has been the greatest joy and the hardest challenge you’ve experienced as husband and wife?
The greatest joy and the hardest challenge both have the same answer…our children. We are truly blessed to have two beautiful little girls, ages 4 and 19 months, and they take every bit of energy out of us on a daily basis. Ha!
Sitting on our back porch swing watching our girls actually play together and laugh is the closest thing to heaven on earth that we will ever experience. Then in that same scene they will fight and hit and you begin to question what you are doing wrong and why the wheels flew off so quickly. It is in those moments that you HAVE to be able to lean on your spouse for reassurance that you aren’t screwing up. You’re in this together and have to fight the battle to make those two lives that you have been entrusted with the best you possibly can. It is not easy. When the day is over and the kids are in bed the last thing you want to do is to care for another person. There I said it. I am selfish sometimes after the girls go to bed…but my husband needs me, too, and I have to remember that. The days are so long and hard sometimes, but the years are short and oh so sweet.
4. What’s surprised you most about marriage?
That we still like and enjoy each other after all of these years!! I know that sounds strange…but when you’re with someone day after day facing battle after battle sometimes you get weary. Even after all these years I can say I look forward to having a date night alone or snuggling up on the couch having a movie night after a long week!
5. What has been the best source of support and encouragement for you all?
The best source of support and encouragement has been to surround ourselves with friends and family in strong marriages with the same values that we believe in. My parents and one of my cousins who is like a sister to me have been our role models for marriage. The more you share and are honest to people fighting the same battles you are the more encouragement you can share when you both hit a rough spot.
6. Are there any books or other resources you would recommend to other couples?
1. In the early months of our relationship we started a devotional together about having a fresh start. It helped us have conversations about how we wanted our relationship to progress and helped us build a healthy relationship from the beginning.
2. I also recommend using date night as a resource. Even if it is having a drink together on the back porch after the kids go to bed…continue dating each other!
7. What are some hopes or dreams you have for your family’s future?
We want to live a life a life that our girls can be proud of and hope we give them the love they need to grow up to be strong, kind, fun-loving and faithful women that love the Lord and the people around them. I also hope and pray that our girls will be the best of friends when they grow up and get so excited to be a part of each other’s lives.
8. If you could change anything about your all’s story, would you?
No…if we had met at a younger age or anything would have been different we would not have been the people that we became through all the challenges life had thrown at us. Those challenges made us thankful and ready to accept who we were meant to be with all along.
9. What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given about marriage?
I know I said it before, but DATE NIGHT!!! Continue to date even when the time doesn’t seem possible with life happening so quickly. You NEED time alone together. Don’t take it for granted. You don’t want to end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage someday when your kids are grown up and moved away.
10. Why does marriage matter?
Marriage matters because you get to spend a lifetime and eternity doing life with your best friend. The type of friend that knows your mean side, what you look like when you wake up in the morning, knows your silliest dance moves…and still chooses to love you unconditionally. It is a bond that cannot be broken. A love that fills your soul so much that you know it was created by the Lord.
Because when it comes down to it… at 2:00 am when your youngest child is awake and screaming after a very long day and your husband comes in with no complaint and rocks her back to sleep…that is the kind of special bond it takes to make a marriage work. Marriage matters. It is hard and messy, but beautiful and sweet all at the same time.
Inspired & encouraged yet? I know we are. Marriage matters, sweet friends, and we mean it when we say that is our heart above all other things is to point y'all to that truth. Fight for your marriages and love fiercely. It is worth it, we promise.