I surely don’t envy you girls who are on bridesmaid duty during the hot summer months, and I myself have done it before, so I know what to expect.  Here are some tips for making the heat a little more bearable…

1) Bring a cooler with ice packs.  You can take this with you while all the outdoor photos are being taken.  An ice pack on the back of the neck, feet, or wrists can provide instant relief.

2) Stay inside in the air conditioning until you absolutely have to go outside.  This might seem obvious, but there are so many bridal parties who suffer through standing around in the heat when they could run indoors to escape for a couple minutes.

3)  Take your heels off unless there are photos being taken.  Wearing spa sandals will keep your feet cooler – and your feet won’t sweat like they would in regular flip flops.

4) Drink water!  Throw a bunch in the cooler with your ice packs.  Skip the champagne until later – it will just make you feel tired in the heat.

5)  Bring umbrellas for the bridal party – if you have to stand in the heat, these can provide shade.

6)  Use tissue as a barrier between your underarms and dress – sweatmarks are not a good fashion accessory.

If the wedding is outside, you’ll have to suffer through it, but it won’t be as bad if you’ve taken care to stay cool before the ceremony.  Plus, you’ll hopefully be so caught up in your happiness for the couple, you won’t even notice….for a few minutes anyway. 

-Keri

Luckily, 70-80% of our bridal parties have a gal who is trying to get pregnant, will be pregnant at the wedding, or is pregnant when ordering yet hoping to back to her normal size at the time of the wedding.  Basically, we work with these situations all of the time, so it’s not usually as stressful as it may seem.

A few things to be aware of when you are in the prego-bm situation:

First, sizing will be a guessing game and you have to know that you will spend more on alterations because of this.  Oh, and sizing is the worst part!!  Stepping on your doctor’s heavily-weighed scale is bad enough.  Be prepared when you have to take those measurements.  I took mine at 7 months for a customer who lived in another state to try and help her figure out sizing and I nearly had a meltdown. 

Second (and this is especially for first-time preggers girls), your body WILL change….everywhere.  Guess big, and have the dress taken in if you still have a lot of room.  You simply cannot predict the changes you will see in all of your measurements. 

Third, communicate with your bride!  I cannot tell you how many pregnany secrets we’ve had to keep at Twirl.  Your bride is either a family member or one of your closest friends.  Be honest with her about your situation so that she is aware when shopping for styles.  There are so many options out there for maternity dresses, or styles that are prego-friendly.  This doesn’t mean you should cause her entire plan to change, but you can at least talk about options. 

Lastly, communicate with your dress vendor.  We are here to help, and many designers offer special rush options for pregnant women.  Yes, they may charge you for it, but it’s worth the peace of mind.  If you unexpectedly get pregnant after your dress is ordered, we can usually help by ordering extra fabric or getting creative – turn to us!

The bottom line is that, though it may not be the ideal time to be on bridesmaid duty, you can make it work and still look and feel like your fabulous self.  Everyone else gives you a break when you’re pregnant – give yourself one too and just embrace the situation and enjoy the wedding.

this makes 11 times a bridesmaid for me  

At our monthly girls wine night last week, it’s all the other bridesmaids and I could talk about because we’re so excited for her, and we had a great time throwing her engagement party this past weekend. 

My point?  Every one of your bridesmaids should be like this – excited, supportive, honored, and thrilled to be a part of your wedding.  DO NOT ask girls to be in your wedding if they’re giving you any of the following signs of an impending bridesmaidzilla….

- Complaining about how much it’s going to cost to be in your wedding

- Talking about what she would do for her own wedding instead of focusing on yours

- Telling you she’s really busy and probably can’t help much

- Voicing what dress styles/colors she won’t wear

We women have a natural tool inside call intuition – use yours!  Before you ask anyone to be in your wedding, sit down with your fiance and ask this question: “Who is going to stand by us, as a couple and as a family, for the rest of our lives?”  These are the type of friends and family members who should be standing by you as your exchange your wedding vows.  No, it doesn’t have to be every single person you come up with, but every person standing next to you should be on that list.  Trust me, it’s going to save you headaches and heartaches as you plan your wedding.

-Keri

If you are a bridesmaid during these busy wedding months, take a deep breath, and just know that the busy season of weddings can be a little crazy. 

I have some quick tips to keep you, your bride, and the rest of the bridal party, organized and a little less stressed:

PLAN AHEAD

-Schedule alterations appointments well ahead of time.

-Purchase your shoes and undergarments before your alterations.  Don’t wait until the last minute.

-Buy bachelorette and wedding gifts now – don’t wait until the day before the event.

HELP YOUR BRIDE

- Call or email your bride and ask if there are any tasks you can complete for her or for her family. 

-If you have an ultra-stressed bride, force her to let you pick her up one day for a pedicure or for happy hour. 

-If you are friends with the groom, call him to see if he needs any help.  Don’t forget about the grooms!

In the end, remember that book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.  The truly important thing going on is the marriage between the bride and groom.  Everything else is small in comparison.  If you go at everything with this in mind, the wild wedding season won’t seem so crazy.

I’ve helped friends plan their weddings, attended more than I can count – and even been the star of the show once – and what I’ve found is that the bride always welcomes some non-wedding distractions that let her feel “normal” for just a few hours. A few fun ways to weave this into the bride’s calendar include:

•  Hosting an intimate girls-only lunch or mani/pedi party. Make this a gathering of those closest to the bride (say, four or five friends from her inner circle) who just want time to relax and enjoy each other’s company. Of course you’re going to talk about the wedding at some point – but if you don’t focus the event on wedding chit chat – it can help the bride refocus her energy for a few hours and forget her massive to-do list.
• Paint-your-own Pottery. Sure, it’s the stuff children’s parties are made of, but if you can find a studio that has an “adult’s only” night you can gather the bride and a couple of friends and uncork a bottle of wine and create one-of-a-kind pieces for yourselves and the bride’s new home. It’s the perfect opportunity for a little girl talk and low-key fun.
• Movie night & slumber party. Invite a few close friends to your place, pop up some popcorn, rent your favorite chick flicks and stock up on everything you’ll need for at-home facials, manis and pedis. It’s a night at home that encourages plenty of conversation, reminiscing, dreaming of what may come.

 Planning a wedding is so hectic, that a few stolen moments with her girlfriends will make the bride’s experience even better.

 About Petal Wishes bouquets:

This bouquet replaces the rumpled-ribbon-and-paper-plate bouquets made at most bridal showers. The guests simply think of a wish to share with the bride & groom, write the wish on the blank petals and the Petal Wishes team works to create a beautiful rehearsal bouquet for the bride.

Photographer, Melissa Jill, has a great post with details and photos from the event.  I took a few photos that I was going to post, then saw Melissa’s……so much better (since she is the pro).

Check out Melissa’s Blog.

-Keri

So to you bridesmaids out there – step up and volunteer!  It’s really hard when your bride is planning from far away to realize all that she has to do, but knowing you’re there for her no matter where you are will make her planning much more enjoyable and stress free. 

Here are some wedding planning tasks bridesmaids can offer to help out with:

Addressing Wedding Invitations

Offer to have the invitations and stamps sent to you – you can address, stamp, and mail them from wherever you are.  This is such a huge task – believe me.  I hated addressing my wedding invitations!  I think it’s perfectly acceptable for wedding invitations to be addressed with mailing labels, but if your bride wants them written by hand make sure you have that nice handwriting the rest of us are jealous of.  If she’s hiring someone to address her invitations with calligraphy, you can still offer to stuff, stamp, and take them to the post office.

Make Phone Calls to Wedding Vendors

You can follow up with wedding vendors to confirm dates, times, and details.  You can also make a nice spreadsheet for the bride and groom with all the contact information for each wedding vendor, along with service details.  They’ll love you for this organization!

Plan the Bachelorette Party

This is something that the whole bridal party can so easily to via email.  Your bride will be so excited that her bridesmaids have all communicated and planned her bachelorette party/weekend.

Help Manage the Bridal Party

You would think that a bride and groom’s closest pals and family would be completely on top of it when it comes to getting bridesmaid dresses and groomsmen tuxedos ordered…so wrong!  It baffles me on a daily basis how many bridesmaids and groomsmen I have to hunt down at Twirl.  As a responsible member of the bridal party (and you obviously are if you’re reading this), offer to help manage the bridal party.  You can get a list of names, emails, and phone numbers and be the one in charge of reminding everyone to get their orders in on time.  Slacker bridesmaids and groomsmen can be so stressful (and heartbreaking) to the bride and groom – by taking care of this matter, they’ll never know who was slacking.

Volunteer for Day-Of Duties

The very last thing brides, grooms, and families should be doing on the wedding day is running errands, paying vendors, helping guests, etc.  Hopefully your bride and groom will have a wedding planner to take care of all of this, but if not, offering to take the lead to help the walk down the aisle run smoothly will be much appreciated.  This isn’t a job for one bridesmaid, so team up and see what needs to be done.  Otherwise, you may end up seeing these two at the end of the aisle.

Just remember, whether around the corner from your bride, or a thousand miles away, being there for whatever she needs will be the best gift you could give her. 

-Keri

If you fall in love with a bridesmaid dress that doesn’t come with a brooch, it’s easy to add one, and it makes a great gift for your bridal party.  My favorite places to shop for unique pieces are antique stores.  They usually have a good selection with a classic and historic feel, plus second-hand shops are usually less expensive than department stores.  You can get creative and buy a different style for each bridesmaid, giving some individual personality to each girl as she walks down the aisle.  You can also try Ebay or Etsy and search “vintage brooches”.  I also found these feminine, affordable brooches on Amazon – who would have thought?

Last week I had a bride who fell in love with this bridesmaid dress by Vineyard, but she’s having a black-tie optional wedding, so we talked about adding a brooch where the ruching meets at the waist – love it!

-Keri

If you fall in love with a bridesmaid dress that doesn’t come with a brooch, it’s easy to add one, and it makes a great gift for your bridal party. My favorite places to shop for unique pieces are antique stores. They usually have a good selection with a classic and historic feel, plus second-hand shops are usually less expensive than department stores. You can get creative and buy a different style for each bridesmaid, giving some individual personality to each girl as she walks down the aisle. You can also try Ebay or Etsy and search “vintage brooches”. I also found these feminine, affordable brooches on Amazon – who would have thought?

Last week I had a bride who fell in love with this bridesmaid dress by Vineyard, but she’s having a black-tie optional wedding, so we talked about adding a brooch where the ruching meets at the waist – love it!

-Keri

I love the idea of having kids in weddings.  They represent an innocence that just makes the whole day a little sweeter.  But kids are tricky, and require us to get a little creative now and then.  I also think a wedding is an event where we can bend the rules a little regarding bribery.   Our nephew was five at the time of our wedding and refused to be the ring bearer.  He said he’d do it if he could be a groomsman.  I still don’t know how he came up with that – he’s slick.  I told him he could be the special groomsman who got to carry the ring, but he saw right through me.  In the end, he gave in for $10 (though he tried to get me for $100). 

If the kids in the wedding are very young, it’s always good to have them walk together.  If you have a junior bridesmaid, she can follow up behind them and scoot them along if anyone decides to take a break on their way to the front (I’ve seen this happen – pretty funny stuff when the flower girl sits down on the aisle to play with her petals).  Once the little ones are ‘on stage’, make sure a bridesmaid and groomsman are assigned to take care of them.  My brother and sister-in-law just held the kids’ hands and they managed pretty well, though of course they were disinterested after about five minutes.   If the parents are seated as guests, it’s definitely more likely that your flower girl or ring bearer may want to go sit with them.  If this happens, my advice is to let them.  That’s much less of a distraction that hearing them sqeal, “Momeeeee!”

Know up front what you want your ceremony and photos to look like because kids bring an whole new element into the mix.  If you think kids are cute from afar, but think they can be annoying – don’t have them in your wedding.  There is nothing wrong with that.  In the end, kids will be kids.  They are adorable, funny, and unpredictable.  The unpredictablility is what is fun about having them in weddings, so heed this advice – if you plan to have flower girls and ring bearers, you have to embrace not having a flawless ceremony with no distractions.   It just may give you a great story to tell. 

-Keri

(All Photos by April Greer Photography)